The last year wasn’t a particularly easy one for me. After receiving my a-level results and not gaining my place at university I decided to repeat my last year at school, despite many people telling me it would be extremely hard. It wasn’t until my friend went off to university themselves that it really hit home and I felt very lonely. At the same time, home wasn’t very peaceful with arguments pretty much the norm. I found it increasingly hard to concentrate to believe that this was God’s plan. After all I felt like everyone was disappointed in me, why would God be any different?With my friends off at university, the people I always talked to about everything gone, I bottled everything up inside. Church became more of a chore than a choice and I felt like I could no longer feel God.
I got asked if I would do the Philip course and agreed as at the time I didn’t have much else to do. One of the things we looked at whilst there was all about the Father’s love. One line stuck in my head; ‘no matter what you do, I shall always love you.’ I realised that God hadn’t left me, he wasn’t disappointed in me, and I had turned away from Him! After this I began to take more interest in church again and it no longer felt like such a chore.
